Crack Land! Crack fics galore!
by wasup85
Summary: Welcome to Crack Land! Where your tour guide Strudels, thats me! Will take you through Crack Land! Where all of your dreams and or nightmares will come true! This is some awesome sh*t! So come on in! What'cha waiting for kids!
1. Meet Strudel Intro

Welcome to crack land! There are many attractions and stuff to do here! But right now I can only think of a few things so you get to know about six places, WWHEEEEEE!!! Aaaaaaanyway, there's a pizza shop, a movie theater where you'll see some of the weirdest sh*t ever, a park which is ok but there are strange people there. They scare me. Continuing on now, a skate park, an old abandoned motel where there's lots of illegal gambling, but boss told me not to tell or he'll shoot me in the leg benders. Ow. Oh yeah! There's a high school called Lurn Heer High! Lots of people go there and its fun to watch them do stuff.

What's my name you ask? I'm the voice in your head, the whisper in the wind, the monkey that wants a banana….but you can call me Strudels! I'm the narrator! I will set the scene of stuff I've seen going around in crack land! So lets begin our crazy adventure kids! Also FBI people made show you this warning that's below this paragraph.

THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN BLOOD, GORE, CURSING, SWEARING, AND CRAZY STUFFF THAT MAKES YOU CRAP YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS. FOR VIEWERS UNDER THE AGE OF ELEVNTY CABILLION AND A HALF, THIS EPIC STORY OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT MAY CAUSE THE FOLLOWING: VOMOTING, BLEEDING, DIZZYNESS, HEAD ACHE, STOMACH ACHE, DIARHEA, EXPLOSIVE DIAHEA, IMPLOSIVE DIAHREA, EYBALLS SPLODIN', TREES GROWING INSIDE YOUR EARS, PREGNANCY, HEART ATTACK, UNCONTROLLLABLY FARTING, CONTROLLABLY FARTING, AGING 20 YEARS IN LIKE 30 SECONDS, AND A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF TO SCARY TO DESCRIBE….IT MADE STRUDELS CRAP HIMSELF MAN….THE FBI PEOPLES ARE MAKIG ME TYPE IT….THEY SCARE ME!! HELP!! OH GOD!!! THEY HAVE A GUN!!! DON'T SH-!!…………………..this paragraph is over cause' the FBI said so.

**END OF INTRODUCTION**


	2. Chapter 1, TDI time!

Strudels here! Just letting ya' know what I saw the other day at Lurn Heer high, did you know some of those mentally insane teens from that show Total Drama Island go there? I didn't…I made big mistake when I told Owen my name. He thought I was real strudel and tried to eat me. Anyway here's what happened!

Within the halls of Lurn Heer, the blonde surfer girl Bridgette was making out once again.(I was watching for like 20 minutes without her knowing! And I'm like two feet tall so I got to look up her skirt too! SCORE ONE FOR STRUDEL!! WOO!) This time though, she wasn't making out with party dude Geoff. It was a large guy, with blonde messed up hair, buckets of fried chicken hidden underneath his many chins, and HUUUGE T-shirt with a maple leaf displayed on it. Guessed who it was yet? That's right! It was none other than O-WIN! Or Owen for those boring people.

Wet, sloppy, disturbing kissing noises filled the halls. Noah and his new best buddy Winston were walking down the halls. Noah was wearing his usual sweater vest with a red collared shirt underneath and khaki shorts that went past his knees.

Now Noah's friend Winston on the other hand…REALLY needs some explaining, you see…Winston is from the planet MARS-A-TRON 8. He's kind like a bunny who can walk on two feet, but he doesn't have a tail, his ears are droopy, and he only eats strawberries and popcorn. Also he can breathe fire and can burp the ABC's, oh, and his eyes are as big as a human's eyes and he's about a two feet tall like I am.

So as I was explaining earlier, Noah and his alien bunny-like friend were roaming the halls when Noah stated "What's that creepy noise? It sounds like…somebody tearing suction cups off a wall."

Winston replied "I guess, to me it sounds like the demom waffle babies feeding at night on my home planet!"

Noah pause for a second and exclaimed "That is the most f*cked up thing I've ever heard in my life!!

DEMON WAFFLE BABIES?!?! What _is _a demon waffle baby anyway?"

Then Winston barfed out a burnt waffle in a diaper with red glowing eyes and sharp fangs that instantly jumped on Noah.

Noah screamed in terror "OH MY GOD!!!!!! ITS HURTING ME!!! JESUS!! ITS IN BELLY BUTTON!!! GET IT OUT!!! AAAAAAAAGHHHUGGGHHH!!!!!"

Winston just smiled and said "That's a demon waffle baby!"

(Hi reader! Strudels here! Just letting you know that no demon waffle babies were harmed in the making of this…but Noah suffered severe pain to the belly button and lots of head trauma that we're trying to fix…pleas don't tell mom! She won't give me orange popsicles if you tell…that makes me sad.)

Geoff heard Noah's screams of terror and fear. So he thought "_This looks like a job for…" then a twirl of pink light swallowed Geoff and when it faded Geoff was wearing a Pink jumpsuit with a white strip of cloth running across the waistline. "THE POWERPUFF GEOFF!!!" Geoff than flew around the halls looking for Noah, but instead, saw Owen and Bridgette making out intensely. "BRIDGETTE?!?! Why are you making out with…with…OWEN!!?"_

_Bridgette was surprised "Geoff! I-I-I didn't see you there! This isn't what it looks like!"_

"_Yah right! I'm so mad I could just…" Then Geoff pulled out a knife and slashed Owen's gut open "TAKE THAT!!!" _

_Bridgette screamed in terror, but something strange was happening Owen was bleeding syrup! "Wha-what the hell?! Why are you bleeding syrup?"_

"_What can I say? I'm fat!" Owen replied with a laugh_

_Determined to bring Owen pain, Geoff repeatedly stabbed Owen's stomach. This time, Jelly beans poured out of his stomach! "OH come on!!!" Geoff exclaimed "Time to bring in the more heavy weapons!!" Geoff magically pulled an AK-47 out of his ass and started blasting Owen with every bullet. After a few minutes, Geoff was out of ammo and Owen looked like Swiss cheese. "YEAAAH!!! THAT'S HOW THE PARTY DUDE DOES IT!!!"_

_(The next part is my favorite!!)_

_Then a bright glowing light emerged from Owens bullet filled stomach, and from that light the image of Willy Wonka appeared. "What the hell?" Geoff said_

_Willy Wonka smiled at Geoff and said "Thank you Geoff. You have freed my from my tubby prison. You see, Owen ate me years ago and I've been trapped ever since."_

Geoff stared at Willy for a second. Then shot him in his face. Willy Wonka was bleeding from his eye, or at least his corpse was.

"YEAH!! PARTY ON CANDY DUDE!" Geoff shouted in victory

Bridgette was recovering from shock and exclaimed "Geoff! You killed two people!!"

"So?" replied Geoff

"......wanna make out?"

"WOO!" GEoff exclaimed. He locked lips with Bridgette and about 10 minutes later Geoff asked "Hey, babe?"

"Yeah?" Bridgette asked softly

"DIE!" Geoff shot bidgette in the stomach and walked away cooly "Nobody cheats on me and gets away with it!"

Geoff walked out of the building and went to the park. The day was ending and there was a beautiful sunset. The sky was a soft orange color as the sun fell in the sky. The grass was swaying lazily on the ground. Birds stopped chirping but a cricket's song soon filled the park. It was a peaceful and beautiful end of a great day....BUT THEN COPS ARRESTED GEOOF FOR MURDERING LIKE 5 PEOPLE. You're probably thinking "five? I only counted four" Well...there's Bridgette, Willy Wonka, and Owen...I count Owen three times cause he's really really fat!

THE END.

THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS APPROVED BY STRUDELS

Oh yeah! I, Strudels, have an important announcement!! Geoff isn't going to to an ordinary jail...he's going to jail where theres a warden with a purple coat, pants, and top hat. Also, he has an assistant named jarred! You can say this jail is...super! Hope you get the clue! :D

With super duper ultra fantastic mega love, Strudels~ 3 3 3


End file.
